Peer Pressure Can Either Make or Break You

Question:  When we talk about peer pressure, we usually assume ‘pressure’ and that from peers as a term with negative connotation. Is it so, how do you define Peer Pressure?

Peer pressure essentially defined as influence exerted by a peer group on its individual members to fit in with or conform to the group’s norms and expectations. Often peer pressure begins very early on having positive socialization but many a times have negative consequences for psychological and physical health.

But, it’s not often the way generally people think of it.  You have explicit peer pressure and you have implicit peer pressure. So, let me give you an example of a young boy who just started university and started it with long hair and a couple of months into 1^st Semester he got his hair cut very short. This could have been because somebody made fun of his long hair. That would be the explicit form of peer pressure. But, it could also be very implicit. He could have wanted to fit in. He could have been eager to make new friends, other kids with short hair who didn’t want them to be off put by his long hair. He could have thought this was some form of status – that people with short hair appear to have more status than people with long hair. We don’t know, in this particular instance and we often don’t really know exactly if it’s one or the other and typically, it’s probably a combination of things. So, when we think about peer pressure, we’re really talking about influence to behave differently, that’s exerted by peers.

Moreover, Peer pressure can be active or passive.

• Active peer pressure describes a situation where a person tries to convince someone else to do something. For example, two friends might encourage a third friend to drive above the speed limit since “everyone drives that fast anyway.”
• Passive peer pressure refers to modeled or mimicked behavior. Someone with several friends who text while driving may be more likely to text and drive themselves. They may reason that their friends text and drive, so it must not be so bad.

Passive peer pressure, sometimes called unspoken pressure, may have more influence over behavior than active peer pressure. Unspoken pressure may be harder to resist because it can seem easier to go along with the crowd in order to fit in, especially when there’s no explicit pressure to do something. People who don’t feel pushed into something may have a harder time finding an opportunity to refuse

Q: Some parents that are listening to this wondering what can they do to help children recognize and deal appropriately with peer pressure?

The first thing I think that parents can do is that they can help children recognize that attempts to influence them are everywhere. You can’t turn around without somebody attempting to influence you. They want you to eat this or buy that or watch this or listen to that. So one of the first things we can do is we can help children understand that our culture is full of influence attempts and peers are just another set of forces that are vying for our attention and are vying to shape our behavior. So once children start to see that there are these influences everywhere, that’s really the first step of the process. So, you recognize when there are influence attempts going on and you can start to label them and recognize them and label them and recognize them and children become more adept at recognizing and labeling them and identifying them, then you can start to talk with them about is that the kind of influence you want to be shaped by. Is that something that you want to be susceptible to? And if not, we start to talk about how we might resist that influence. But, it’s much easier to resist influence if you’ve thought about your strategy beforehand.

Parents can serve as a buffer against peer-influence. We know that children who have good relations with their parents feel that they have less of a need to please their friends. Some other quick tips for teenagers.

Q: Any tips you would advise for teens to deal with Peer Pressure?

Most of the teens feel stressed because they suppress their likes, dislikes, and attitude just to please others. Few easy-to-follow tips for handling peer pressure that may help teens resist peer pressure without suffering the consequences.

• Learn to say no, it will solve half your problems,
• Remain confident,
• Set certain standards and make it clear to friends that you will not break them,
• Do not let friends impose their decisions on you,Do not let friends impose their decisions on you,
• Do hear your friends advice and suggestions, but do what you feel is best for you.
• Practice responses beforehand. If you’ll be with people who are drinking or using drugs and you already know you don’t want to, think of some ways you might refuse. Bringing your own beverage is one possible solution.
• Bring a friend. If you know you’ll be in a situation where you could face negative peer pressure, take a friend or sibling. It can help to have someone you trust who can offer support.
• Plan a safety phrase with a friend or parent. Work out a code you can use if you need a ride home or if you feel trapped in an unsafe situation.
• Listen to your instincts. Know you can always leave if you don’t feel comfortable. Call a friend or parent if you don’t feel safe. If you consistently find yourself in difficult situations, one solution may be to spend less time with people who pressure you to do things you don’t want to do.

You should also keep on exploring new ways to help deal with peer pressure so that he one pass through the most important years of his life without getting scarred for life.

It’s better to walk alone than with a crowd going in the wrong direction. Do what you feel is right.